I Am Not a Lady- Sexism and Language, Part 1

George: “I love you naked lady”
Me: “I am not a lady”
George: “You do indeed have a vagina”
Me: ”But I am not a lady. I have worked very hard to ensure that people do not view me as a lady, and yet you confine me to this title on the basis of my genitalia.”
To be fair, he really is trying. He always understands when I point something out to him that is sexist and he apologizes; it is very hard to undo years of misogyny culture damage. Even I find myself saying things like this sometimes.
Why do I find lady offensive? Because I am not a lady. I do not embody the qualities of a lady, except that I do have a vagina. However, as society often tells us, lady-ness is not defined by a person’s vagina-having status. According to society, gays and inadequately testosterone-ridden males are ladies. Dykes and inadequately estrogen-ridden females are not. According to the top two definitions on dictionary.com, a lady is:
1. a woman who is refined, polite, and well-spoken: She may be poor and have little education, but she's a real lady.
2. a woman of high social position or economic class: She was born a lady and found it hard to adjust to her reduced circumstances.
I am crass and blue-collar. I must admit that as a scholar and an English major, I am articulate and do have a large vocabulary, but I feel that I am still far from ladylike in my language. I am loud and sometimes obnoxious if that’s what it takes to get my point across. I’m only polite/shy/quiet with my father-in-law, but that’s just because he’s a mite scary. Also, my “well-spoken”-ness doesn’t so much have to do with any trace of being ladylike, but it’s more that I am well educated- something very un-ladylike indeed.